Insomnia
by Snowflake Kisses
Summary: I never asked to cause so much pain to others...I didn't ask for these powers...I didn't ask to be a demon...so why is it that I have to suffer? Why do the people I love have to go through it too? I'll deal with the pain and the sorrow on my own...just please...leave my brother alone.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, because Kazue Kato is a boss and she came up with these beautiful boys on her own...because she's just freaking amazing like that! **

**A/N: I'm back~...and with another story! I swear, this is like one of the longest stand-alone one shots I have ever done. 17 freaking pages people. 17! Anyway, I decided I wanted to show some more Okumura Twins love, so...I wrote this baby and bam! Here we are. I hope you lovely folks like it and don't forget to review~ Check out some of my other stuff and see what ya think too. Thanks for all your support~**

**~Snow**

* * *

_Where am I?_

_Looking down, eyes widening, I found my blue flames surrounding reddened hands, __Kurikara grasped tightly within my right palm. When had I drawn it? Why? Was I in a battle? How? I don't remember ever going on a mission; I don't remember ever leaving school. So wha..? __My head shot up at the sound of a low moan and I felt like I was going to be sick; my __friends lay scattered on the ground in pools of blood before me, and that's when I __realized my blade was dripping with the rich scarlet liquid. __The blade clattered to the alley ground, its sound echoing within the four-walled space._

_Slowly, I backed away from everyone, horror filling my mind and terror sending my __body into spasming of tremors. I choked on the bile that rose into my throat and wrapped __my arms quick around my blood stained shirt as I heaved. The vile regurgitation of my __stomach acid splashed sickening onto the concrete as it burned its way up my esophagus, __burning my chest and turning my intestines inside out. It felt as though someone was __stabbing me relentlessly in the gut and I so desperately wished someone would. I'm a __monster._

_Through tears that stung my burning eyes and irritated a deep cut on my left cheek I __scanned the battle field before me – or what was left of it. Bon was spread eagle to the __far left of the alley, deep lacerations splitting open his tan skin and staining his uniform red __as broken rosary beads arch inches away from the side of his tilted head. Shima lay a few __inches to the right of Bon, his throat sliced and arms torn to shreds; his shirt was bathed __in crimson blood, his own holy staff impaling his broken chest. Konekomaru lay just inches below his two best friends, his skull smashed to bits and left leg amputated._

_I gagged, heaving onto the ground once again and brought my hand to cover my mouth. __I knew I should have stopped, there was no longer a reason to look upon the horror __in my demonic wake any longer, but something wouldn't let me close my eyes; I was drawn to the other side and I felt my heart would be the next to splash against the cement. __Shiemie lay curled into a pool of life water, her stomach impaled with a hole the came __out her dainty back and blood dripping out of her blue open lips, staining the tips of her blonde mane red. A few inches above her lay Shura, slumped against the wall with her blade forgotten __before her; dulled violet eyes bore into my very soul and wished for my immediate __death. She was impaled in both the stomach and chest, her legs cut to ribbons, her arms __a bloody mess and hair cut to the nap of her neck. Blood was running down her chin, __completely staining it red and it was a miracle the woman was still alive - she's more stubborn than I thought._

_"S-Shura…" I whispered in breathless shock. What the hell happened to them?! __Why…why would I ever do this to the people I cared so much about?! Why did this have __to happen to them!? It all my fault._

_"S-So…ya finally came to, huh, brat?" Shura coughed out, smirking through her evident __pain. "Yukio…he's all yer's now…"_

_I watched numbly as Shura's eyes closed and her head dropped against the wall limply __before hearing that all too familiar click behind me. Rounding on my heel my breath caught in my throat at the sight of my little brother standing before me, eyes cold and pistol aimed at the left side of my chest. I knew it __He's planning to kill me, I could only think in apathy. Good, let him do it. I deserve to die, to be buried with the rest of the demon scum. I'm not human after all, I don't belong in this world and this surely proves it._

_"So you're finally woke up, Rin?" Yukio asked emotionlessly. He's hiding his fear and __his sadness; I can see it in his eyes. Years of training with Dad has done him well, but he still can't hide anything from his brother._

_"Yeah, but not for much longer. Do it, shoot while you've got the chance. Save yourself and anyone else before I can do more damage." I held my arms out, defenseless. __I shut my eyes tight, readying myself for the bullet to pierce through my heart. It was __going to be painful, I could figure that much, their laced with Holy Water after all; but it __didn't matter. I deserved the pain after what I did to everyone, I don't deserve to live. _

_Metal clattered against cement and boots scuffed the alley pavement and instead of the blessed pain of a Holy bullet, I felt warmth and protection and the tightest embrace I'd received since father passed. Yukio?_

_"I don't want to kill you, Nii-san...No one wanted to kill you." He whispered, his __voice small and so hurt, like when we were kids. Instead of the pain of a bullet…I was tortured with the pain of my heart being torn to shreds by my brother's restrained sobs above me. Yukio…Yukio never cried, at least...not anymore. This is the first time he's cried since Dad died…_

_"Yukio…" I whispered, biting my lip. "You have to let go. You have to end this. I'm not meant to be here, I'm a beast who kills and tortures. I'm nothing to love or embrace. Now do it, pull the trigger." The demand was strained, my demeanor breaking. I didn't know how much more I could take – if Yukio didn't kill me soon, my broken heart surely would._

_"No!" Yukio shouted defiantly, holding me tighter. "I-I can't kill you! I don't want to... You're my brother...I can't do that to you. I can't...because you're my big brother."_

_I gasped, tears pricking my eyes. "Yukio…you-"_

_"Gah!" My eyes widened at the feeling of warm blood splashing onto my head, the __horrific feeling of a heartbeat in my hand. I looked up, finding my hand shoved through __my brother's chest. Blood ran down his lips as it pooled in his mouth and his eyes were __just as wide as mine._

_"R-Rin…why…?" He choked before falling back, my hand slipping free and his life __liquid circling around him. I couldn't catch my breath afterwards, gasping and sputtering __in horrific shock. I had just killed my brother…my baby brother! I killed Yukio!_

_The scream tore from my throat before I knew it was there, clawing my throat to __ribbons and turning my internal organs into a spastic disaster. My body was numb and __my mind blank except for the horror before me. I couldn't even feel that someone was __shaking me, all I could see was the blood and my brother and his lifeless teal eyes and oh __gosh it was all my fault, my entire fault. I'm a monster!_

"Nii-san!"

_Wait…was that Yukio? But how?! He's lying right in front of me…dead! How can I hear __him?_

"Nii-san!"

_What the hell is going on?! Yukio…how is…I just…Yukio!_

"Nii-san!"

_Yukio!_

* * *

"Yukio!" Rin shot up from his spot on the courtyard bench, cringing loudly as he clashed foreheads with his younger brother.

"Gahh! Dammit!" Rin moaned, cupping his bruised forehead as he fell back against the damp stone. Yukio grumbled and rubbed his forehead, his glasses having fallen off from the impact.

"Dammit Rin, don't sit up so fast like that!" Yukio shouted in frustration, bending to pick up his lost spects.

"Well maybe you shouldn't be leaning over people like that!" Rin shouted back, but his voice was scratchy and crackled; he winced, rubbing his throat.

"Well maybe you shouldn't be falling asleep in the middle of the courtyard while it's raining!" Yukio retorted with a frown, slipping his cleaned black framed lenses onto the bridge of his nose.

"Huh…?" Rin blinked, slowly realizing where he was and that he was thoroughly soaked from the downpour he finally noticed. _So...it was only a nightmare?_

"Honestly, Nii-san, what am I going to do with you?" Yukio shook his head in disapproval at his brother's confusion, his body protected from the rain by a red umbrella he held in hand with his briefcase.

"I was gone for little over twenty minutes and come back to find you sprawled out on the bench out cold. You really will sleep anywhere, won't you?"

The teen blushed sheepishly, grinning and scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, Yukio. Guess I just dozed off without thinking much about it." Rin hopped off the bench with a low grunt, grabbing Kurikara and his school bag in one go with a big toothy grin to his brother.

Yukio sighed heavily and shook his head, motioning for Rin to follow. "Come on, Drowsy, let's go home. You have homework to do."

The half-demon groaned as he followed Yukio under the umbrella, slipping his sword over his shoulder. "Man, why do you have to act like such a mother hen?"

"Because if I don't, you surely won't." Yukio said matter of factly, side glancing at the boy. "Besides," He paused, smiling softly. "It's kind of my job to annoy you, you _are _my big brother after all."

_"I can't kill you because...you're my big brother."_

Rin's eyes widened in shock, his breath catching in his throat as the two voices rang in his head, breaking the thin barrier between dream and reality. In a whirlwind of confliction memories from the past and the images of nightmares began to spiral through the boy's fragile mind and like the flip of a switch, he shut down - legs folding in, body going numb and eyes going blank.

"Hey!" Yukio yelped, abandoning the umbrella and briefcase as he lunged to catch his brother before he face planted into the wet cobblestone. The younger Okumura lowered them both to the ground, grasping hold of Rin's shoulders and shaking him roughly.

"Nii-san? Nii-san, come on snap out of it! Rin, what's wrong?!" Yukio called desperately, brows furrowing in concern as he stared into his brother's blank eyes.

"H-Huh?" Rin blinked after a few moments, gaze locking with Yukio's as he struggled to grasp what had just happened.

"Are you okay, Nii-san? You just shut down all of a sudden." The young teacher asked worriedly, teal eyes scanning the older boy for wounds or anything that could have been the cause. Rin blinked dazedly, gaze lowering to the muddy ground as his hand raised to the side of his head. He swallowed, his world spinning with flashes of screams, blood and blue fire. _So much blood...all my fault...all my fault._

Sniffing and swallowing thickly, the half-demon lowered his hand and pulled his brother up to look at him, smiling weakly. "Don't worry so much about me, Yuki, I'm fine. I guess I just haven't woken up fully yet, is all."

Yukio frowned deeply at his brother, the concern he bore only worsening. "You haven't been sleeping much these past few days...are you hiding something from me?"

_Yes... _"Of course not." _My heart's being ripped apart each day. _"It's nothing to be worried about." _I can't close my eyes without seeing you dead in my arms. _"I'm alright, honest." _I'm so afraid you'll end up like father, because of me. _"Trust your nii-san, kay?" _I don't know what I'd do if I lost you do. _"I'm tough, so don't worry about me." _You don't need to be burdened with my curse, I've already destroyed your life enough as it is. _"Everything...will be fine." _Don't waste anymore of your time, worrying about someone as insignificant as I._

The look he received was cold and hard and Rin could only smile sheepishly and tiredly. He was suddenly very cold and very tired, trembling slightly due to the cold rain soaking his body. Yukio seemed to catch on and finally caved, sighing heavily. He reached out and slipped his brother's arms through his too big Exorcist coat and buttoned the top three buttons before turning and grabbing the umbrella and his briefcase.

"Hold this." Yukio instructed, giving the red umbrella to his brother, who blinked and took hold of the object. He was shocked when he looked back to the four-eyed doctor and found him with his back facing him, arms back.

"What are you waiting for?" The teen asked, looking over his shoulder with a small frown. "Let's go home, you've been in the rain long enough."

Rin could only blush lightly and nod before climbing onto his little brother's back, wrapping his arms around his neck while keeping the umbrella above them. They began to walk through the academy's courtyard and Rin burrowing his head into the back of his brother's damp hair, pouting slightly in worry.

Unbeknownst to him, Yukio wore the same pout, their twin teal eyes trained on the soggy ground.

_What are we going to do?_

* * *

"A-Aaaa…ACHOO!" Liquefied snot dripped down Rin's upper lip and the teen quickly

sniffing it back up his nose and using his sweatshirt sleeve to wipe the rest away. The boy

coughed out of the corner of his mouth, arms flopping on either side of his comforter-covered body as it shivered in chills. He was pale and flushed, cheeks blushed, skin clammy, and eyes glazed - not a happy camper. It wasn't too long before a dull beeping sound filled the quiet room and Yukio scooted away from his desk to the far right of the dorm, walking over to pluck the thermometer from his brother's cracked lips. Teal eyes scrutinized the numbers before finally sighing in disapproval and slipping a hand under his brother's slightly curled bangs.

"103.5, you've given yourself a nasty case of the flu." Rin groaned at the news, closing his eyes and knit his brows together in displeasure. Flashbacks of the blood, screams and gore from his dream played like a film strip behind his eyelids and Rin snapped them open, sitting up suddenly and staring at the fibers of his blue blanket as he swallowed the rising bile back. He could feel his stomach churning and twisting at the memory, his heart palpitating painfully. Great, as if he wasn't already miserable as it was. He hadn't slept properly in days or eaten much, he was being treated like a slave in Shura's training sessions and was tormented by gut wrenching nightmares - the last thing he needed was the flu. A low, pathetic whimper left the boy's lips before he could register it and surprisingly Rin felt a hand start to rub soothing circles on his hunched back.

Turning his head, Rin's glazed gaze bet the soft reassurance of his brother's, finding a sad smile on the boy's lips and a small plastic cup filled with a thick purple liquid in his free hand. _Cold medicine, bleh!_

Yukio chuckled softly at his brother's scrunched up expression and knelt by the bed, pressing the cup into Rin's open hand. "Yeah, I know it tastes horrid, but you need to take it, Nii-san. It'll help you feel better faster."

"Do I gotta...?" Rin whined stuffily, sniffling as he coughed into his sleeve.

"Afraid so, unless you want me to put it in your food." Yukio smirked evilly.

Rin gawked before mustering enough strength to scowl at the brunette. "'m not sew sure you ain't da demon here," he hiccuped, begrudging wrapping his fingers around the flimsy plastic.

"I'm used to hearing that from you by now," Yukio hummed and tapped the underside of the cup gently. "Come on, get it done quick and then you get to sleep. It'll help settle your stomach, too."

Rin groaned, but gave in, chugging the liquid quickly and shivering as it slid down his throat in a thick glob. He gagged, tail curling behind him and hairs on the back of his neck standing up from the awfully bitter taste. Yukio chuckled at the boy's expression as he replaced the plastic cup with a glass of cool water.

"Slowly, or else you'll make yourself sick." Yukio warned as he stood to set the medicine cup on the metal tray which sat on Rin's work desk. The raven nodded slightly and took small sips of the water, squeezing his eyes shut as it tingled his raw throat.

"It's mineral water infused with vitamins and herbs to help heal your throat and soothe your stomach." Yukio commented offhandedly as he caught his brother glaring at a leaf particle in the glass from his peripheral vision.

"Leafs don't belong in water..." Rin murmured loopily as his drooping eyes stared blankly ahead over the rim of the glass.

_The medicine seems to be kicking in faster than I thought, _Yukio mused with a small smile on his lips as he carefully took the glass from his brother and set it back on the desk. "I think it's time you got some rest, Nii-san."

"Aw...but I was having a staring contest with the dust bunnies..." Rin argued, making Yukio sputter a laugh.

"I'm sure they'll understand, you need your sleep after all." Yukio rubbed his brother's back as he carefully lowered him onto the pillow, pulling the blankets up to his chin and sliding a hand under his damp bangs. Rin watched his younger brother's actions through half-lidded clouded eyes, shivering as a cold cloth was placed onto his forehead.

"Bu'...I was winnin..." Rin mumbled in a hushed, groggy whisper, eyes fighting to stay open.

"There's always next time." The teen hummed, brushing his fingers through the unruly raven locks as Rin's eyes drifted close.

"Sleep well...Nii-san." Yukio whispered softly as his brother drifted into his dreams.

* * *

_"Rin Okumura, you are sentenced to death under accusation of being the unholy spawn of Satan." The Grigori ruled, mallett tapping the conclusion of the court case. I blinked, wincing as Angel grabbed me by the back of the shirt and threw me off the stand, my shoulder skidding against the ground. I growled low in my throat at the blond haired man as he jumped down after me. I couldn't fight him and I knew it. Not only was he stronger and more skilled in swordplay, but I was without my sword and my hands were cuffed behind my back. I was as good as gone and I could nothing to clear my case. _

_"No! You can't kill him! He's my brother!" My eyes widened; Yukio?! What was he doing here?! Slowly, my gaze traveled to the other side of the room where Shura and another Exorcist were holding my brother back, preventing him from coming to my aid. I couldn't stop the small smile or the light chuckle that left my lips. _

_"What's so funny, Demon?" Angel hissed, planting his boot into my chest. I coughed, feeling ribs crack from his weight. I grit my teeth to bare the pain for a moment, waiting for it to fade before shaking my head. _

_"Nostalgia..." I whispered and he seemed confused, not that I gave a crap if he understood it or not. The only one that mattered right now was Yukio. I let out a long, pained breath and smiled weakly at him, eyes half-lidded as I tried to hide my fear and pain from my little brother. I had to be strong for him, that was what big brother's were for, right?_

_"It seems...I won't be able to surpass you after all, Yukio." I said softly, tears pricking my eyes. _

_"W-What are you saying, Nii-san?! You can't just...you can't just lay there and take it! Get up!" Yukio yelled, fighting desperately against his capture's hold. _

_I chuckled, coughing painfully as it upset my bruised rib cage; damned Angel needs to lose some weight. "Afraid that ain't gonna happen, bro...Sorry, but I've been living a life I shouldn't for too long. I'm not meant in Assiah...or anywhere really it would seem."_

_Yukio stared at me with wide, shocked eyes before gritting his teeth and shaking his head, tears falling down his face. "You idiot! Of course you belong somewhere! You belong with me!"_

_Something throbbed in my heart at his words. Yukio...really did want me around? He really did? I knew he cared and I knew he loved me, but...I also knew that I was always a burden on him. If...if I wasn't around than Yukio wouldn't have to sacrifice his childhood to become an Exorcist and Dad wouldn't have died protecting me. Yukio would have been happy, with Dad, with the Cram school kids, living his life like he was supposed. Without me in the picture. He'd even be able to have Shiemie all to himself, no competition, not that I really was much of one to begin with, that girls' heart belonged to Yukio and no one else. Either way, Yukio was meant to be happy. I was meant to be nothing. _

_"Stop saying stupid stuff like that, ya moron! You're supposed to be here, that's what Mom wanted! She gave birth to both of us for us to be happy, together, that's part of being a twin! You're supposed to be competition! You're supposed to be a burden! I would have become an Exorcist either way, I would do anything to protect you...to pay you back for all the times you've protected me!" Yukio shouted, shaking his head wildly and making his glasses fall off. I winced at the sound of them shattering on the ground and his sniffles as the boy cried his heart out. Why oh why had I said that out loud?_

_"That's enough talk. It's time to die, Satan spawn." Angel frowned at our display and I growled darkly at him before an idea came to mind and I smirked. Better piss him off while I've got the chance. _

_"Just you wait, Angel. One day, Yukio will surpass you and the Grigori and become the most powerful Exorcist in this whole damned organization. You and those pointy headed freaks will be fighting for the blessing of being able to kiss his shoes, you'll grovel at his feet and only be able to dream of someone like him even sparing you a pitying glance. One day, you'll be nothing more than a petty follower." I spat at his white coat, staining it red with the blood that came from my pierced lip from the fall. I was screwed now, but at least I got a kick out of it. _

_"You slimy little bastard! I'll show you the real power of the Paladin!" Angel exclaimed, anger swirling in his eyes. I shut my eyes tight as his blade began to glow and waited for the inevitable pain to come. _

_"No!"_

"Yukio!"

_"GAAHHH!" _

_My eyes shot open just in time to witness the horror before me. Yukio had broken free from Shura's hold and had...jumped in front of the blade. I felt warm blood spell onto my chest and slide up to my neck as Yukio struggled to pull himself off of my beaten torso. Tears of terror and overwhelming despare welled in my eyes as I watched his twin pair glaze over with pain. The blade was sticking through the center of his back, he was a goner. _

_"Y-Yuki...why...?" I whispered, hot tears drippling down my face. _

_"B-because...I told you...it's my turn...to protect my Nii-san..." He smiled painfully, bloody lips twitching with the agony undoubtedly running through his body before he collapsed beside me, blade slipping free. My eyes widened and I scrambled up, flamed cutting the ropes on my hands before they fluttered unknowing over my brother's paling body. Why...why would he do this? To hell with debt or assumed duty...Yukio didn't deserve to die!_

_"Why...why...just why...?" I sobbed, cupping his face gently. _

_Yukio smile grew stronger and it was the first genuine smile I'd seen since we were little. My heart stopped at his next words and I could only hope this was all a horrid dream. _

_"I love you...big brother..." Teal eyes dripped fresh tears as they lost all sign of life, his soul being ripped away. My fingers trembled and soon my whole body was joining into the spastic dance of despair as I held my baby brother's body close to my stained chest. _

_"Yukio...Yukio...No!"_

* * *

"No!" Rin startled, eyes snapping open and staring panickedly into the vast darkness before him. He breathed heavily, desperately, hungry for air, his chest feeling as though it had been crushed. The teen was vaguely aware of the fact that he was alone, but had no time to clearly distinguish his surroundings before his stomach gave an unceremonious lurch. Hand cupped over his mouth, the raven boy stumbled his way quickly from the lonely dorm to the large sink in front of the stairwell. Grasping hold of the cold metal rim Rin allowed himself to hurl up the churning mess that was his stomach, choking and gagging on the acid clawing up his raw throat.

Once the boy was reduced to a panting, trembling mess, he turned on the tap to rinse the sink while splashing the cool water on his heated face. After a minute or so Rin shut off the faucet and sighed heavily, running a hand through his unruly hair. _What in the world is going on with me? Why am I having these nightmares? Are they some kind of premonition? Is it going to be my fault Yukio dies? I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm so scared. _Rin sniffed and looked up through the window into the pitch black night, eyes reflecting the light of the bright full moon. Sadness welled in his glassy orbs before Rin looked away, closing his eyes.

_I'm sorry...Dad. It seems I'm just not cut out to be a good big brother. _Sighing, the teen opened his eyes to walk back to the room, but paused as his vision turned red. Rin blinked and quickly looked at his hands, up his arms and down his body, eyes widening in horrific realization - he was covered in blue flames.

"W-What...?" He whispered, then jerked his head towards the hall. Kurikara...no, someone couldn't have...could they? Rin dashed down the hall, chest aching with the exertion but his mind screaming at him to go faster. He had to get to the room, to find out who had his precious sword. Without it...without it Rin really _will _be a monster.

Socks sliding and legs shaking, the teen frantically threw the dorm door open, tinted vision scanning the room like a madman until it landed on the red clothed katana propped up against the foot of his bunk on the left side of the room. He blinked, if someone didn't have the weapon, then why...? Anger and fearful desperation filled Rin as his legs finally gave out and sent him careening backwards until he hit the wall of the dark hallway and slid down, clawing at his arms the whole time.

"Go away...just go away you stupid flames...you've ruined my life enough as it is!" Rin growled, his sharp nails drawing blood as they tore the sleeves of his shirt into ribbons to get to the pale skin underneath.

_"Rin? Rin?! What are you doing?!" _Kuro, who had crawled out from some corner of the dorm room, walked out to the hall only to find a self-harming, delusional Rin. The cat's eyes widened in shock as she caught the pungent, coopery whiff of fresh blood from the deepening gashes in the boy's arms.

"Get off! Get off, get off, get off dammit! I'm not a damned demon! I'm not a monster! I'm not! I'm not! Dammit!" Rin growled, rubbing his hands angrily against his cut arms, only serving to spread the blood and irritate the wounds.

_"Stop it, Rin! You're hurting yourself! Rin! Stop!" _Kuro yelled at the boy.

"S-Shut up!" Rin screamed, putting his bloody hands over his ears. "I-I don't want to hear demons anymore! I don't want to see them! I don't want to be one! I-I just want to be normal, dammit! I never asked for any of this!"

_"Rin..."_ Kuro whimpered sadly, tears stinging her eyes. _"Oh, Rin..."_

"It's all because...of these stupid flames!" He whispered, looking at his bloody hands, streaks now littering the side of his flushed face. "These stupid, damned blue flames! There the reason Imma beast, why Imma monster! I want them gone...I hate them...I hate these damn flames!"

"Rin, stop it!" The teen startled at the shout, dulled eyes widening as he looked up and found Yukio panting for breath in front of him. He'd caught the boy just as he was beginning to sink his claws into his already damaged skin again, allowing Rin to feel his own blood ooze out around his fingers.

"Y-Yuki...?" Rin breathed, gaze following him as the doctor knelt in front of him. Yukio took gentle hold of Rin's wrists and carefully extended his arms, sad eyes taking in the self-harm.

"You've done quite a number on yourself, Nii-san." Yukio whispered, looking up only to find his brother's eyes shadowed by his messy bangs. The boy's lip was trembling between his top teeth and tears glistened in the moonlight as they rolled down Rin's blushed cheeks. Looking up, the half-demon sobbed in the face of his younger brother, breaking at the seams.

"I-I'm sorry...Yuki..." He sobbed, hiccuping. "I-I'm sorry I'm such a horrible brother...I'm sorry you've had to destroy your life because of me. I'm sorry I'm a monster and cause you so much pain...I'm sorry I keep hurting you because of these damned flames...I'm sorry Dad's gone because of me...I'm sorry you can't be normal because of me...I'm sorry I've made you hate me...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Yukio knit his brows together in sympathy as his eyes glazed with unshed tears; he frowned deeply, hurting at the broken state of his brothers, hut by his desperate words. The teen sighed and carefully set the boy's arms down at his side before pulling the sobbing half-demon into his broad chest. Rin sniffled and hiccuped and weakly clutched onto the material of the Exorcist coat as he felt Yukio's warm palms rub his back in just the right places. The taller boy's cheek rested upon the unruly mane of black locks and Yukio closed his eyes as he held his brother close.

"I...I don't hate you Rin, at least not in the way you think." The brunette admitted, opening his eyes to stare into the vast darkness of the hall. "It's more envy than hate. You're so strong and so enthusiastic, you always smile and can make light of almost any situation. You find the good in humans and demons alike and you are more skilled in the ways of the soul than I in books. I'm envious of the love you can show to everyone, the trust you can so freely give. I'm jealous of what you can do and knowing that I could never match it."

Yukio took a deep breath and sighed slowly. "I don't blame you for Father's death, I never have, because it isn't your fault and I should never have tried to blame you for it. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I've left you to break when out of everyone, I should be the one who keeps you whole. I've known you'd been having horrible nightmares and knowns you have slept in days. I've seen you wake up shaking and crying and never went to help. I know my words have hurt you and I've left you to deal with the pain on your own. I'm sorry Nii-san, I really am. I love you with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Rin sniffled and coughed into his brother's shoulder, trembling in exhaustion from his silent cries. Slowly the raven pulled back, dulled, teary eyes gazing up into his brother's. Smiled weakly, the boy leaned up and planted a soft, loving kiss on Yukio's cheek.

"Y-You're a big idiot...you know...? You keep trying to take my job away." He giggled stuffily.

Yukio blinked and blushed and smiled sadly. "I guess I have, haven't I? I'm sorry Nii-san."

Rin buried his face back in his brother's chest and hummed. "You never have to ask me for forgiveness...I'll forgive you no matter what, because I love you so much, my little brother."

"I love you to, big brother." Yukio whispered, allowing a few of his tears to roll down his cheek as he buried his face in his brother's raven hair. They stayed that way for a few moments, before Rin sneezed and whimpered from his arms.

"I...was a dumbass..." Rin concluded, pulling back from his twin in order to inspect his ribboned arms that were starting to heal, but still oozing blood. .

"Yes, you were." Yukio sighed. "But, don't worry, we'll get you fixed up."

Carefully the taller teen slipped his arm underneath his brother's bent knees and wrapped the other around his back, grasping the side of his ribcage just under the arm. Yukio rose from the floor and, with Kuro in tow, walked into the dorm room. Shoes were removed, a jacket hung up and a shirt disposed of before Rin sat upon the edge of his brother's clean bed, sniffling as the young doctor began to pour disinfectant along the shoulder high gashes and wrapped them in pristine white bandages. Pushing the medical equipment to one side of the desk, Yukio grabbed a shirt from Rin's drawer on the other side of the room and helped his brother slip it on before tucking him into the blankets.

A cold, damp washcloth was placed upon the boy's burning forehead and Yukio leaned down, placing a kiss on his brother's cheek. "I love you, nii-san. Sleep well."

"I love you to, Yuki." Rin murmured blearily, but still managed a half smile. The young doctor stood and went to clean up the mess he'd made, but was stopped by a bandages hand grabbing the back of his pajama shirt. Teal eyes looked back in confusion, only to find Rin had scooted over in the bed and patted the side beside him.

"Sleep with me..." He demanded weakly and smiled slightly. "Like when we were kids."

Yukio blinked for a few moments, trying to grasp the situation. He sighed heavily and blushed furiously before caving into the boy's wishes. Taking off his glasses and opening up the comforter, Yukio slid into bed beside his brother and curled up next to the feverish teen.

"Just like when we were little, huh?" Yukio murmured softly, slipping an arm around the boy's thin waist before they both drifted off to sleep...together.


End file.
